Banged Him into Boyfriend-hood


First, I’ll state, I didn’t bang anyone into boyfriend-hood. If you read this blog regularly you know that I do sex poorly…if I’m doing it at all. Hello, Bob (battery operated boyfriend)!

This is a tale of my friend Jane* and her boyfriend John*.

This tale of love, err, girlfriend and boyfriend goes like this.

Jane was happily seeing a guy. The guy was happily seeing Jane and a few others which he did not divulge to her about while they were dating. This is where I like to refer that guy as “Cheating Bastard”. That’s right; Jane’s seemingly happy relationship was built on a foundation of mistrust. She trusted said boyfriend to be honest and open. He was far from honest but by god his pants were open to any female with a pulse.

Long story short, Jane dumped his cheating butt and kicked him to the curb.

John to the rescue! Okay, John didn’t really rescue Jane. Jane’s a self-rescuing gal of sorts. Tough, strong willed and smart enough to know that if a guy is a lying cheat, that he’s not worth the tears in the end. John has always been a good friend to Jane. They had that sort of friendship that everyone in our circle envied. He understands her love of Game of Thrones and she understands his love of The Walking Dead even if they don’t watch what the other watches. They jokingly judge each other and support each other like real friends do. It was as if they were childhood friends that tortured each other with wet willies because they could.

After the breakup with “Cheating Bastard”, John became Jane’s go to person. Then somewhere along the way their friendship turned into “friends with benefits”. Maybe it was that drunken night on too many shots of tequila or the night we all decided to skinny dip in the frigid winter waters of Bondi (if a vagina can get frost bite, I’m sure mine did, but that’s a story for another time), but Jane and John started hooking up.

A few weeks ago, nursing our Saturday night hangovers at our usual “Sunday Funday” spot, I asked the couple, when it stopped being “friends with benefits” and became something more? Did they have a discussion? Was there talk about this is what we are now?

Jane and John stared at each other for a moment, gave a slight shrug to each other, and then looked at me.

Jane said: “I banged him into boyfriend-hood.”

John simply nodded in agreement.

Has your “friends with benefit” story become something more? If so, share your story below or shoot me an email at


*Not their real name. Jane likes her boyfriend and would like to keep him around a while, maybe even marry him. WTF right? Also, John isn’t his real name, I just wasn’t feeling creative to think of some fancy name that wasn’t Jane Doe or John Doe.


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