We know it’s kind of mean to make fun of other people’s sexual mishaps. But what can we do? They’re hilarious! One thread on Reddit exists exactly for the purpose of letting people share and read embarrassing sex stories, and we have compiled some really funny ones for your entertainment.
You Got Something in Your Eye
“I was doing missionary with my ex while in high school. We were in the gym and I was so turned on I pulled out and blasted in my own eye. I turned around because my girlfriend had this terrified look of embarrassment on her face only to stare into the angry face of her gym teacher while the spooge dripped down my eye onto my lip. Yeah, that was a great day….”
How Come Nobody Told Him?
“It’s my college graduation party and me, my WHOLE family and a bunch of my friends are celebrating it in my backyard. We are having a good time drinking a few beers throughout the day and the later it gets, the crazier it gets. My friends, some family, and I are all half in the bag. I’m near blackout at this point and all I can really remember is being behind my pool with this girl I was friends with, eating her out. Now in my drunken state, I could have sworn that it was dark enough behind there but when I awoke the next day, my father assured me it wasn’t. Not only could he assure that but about 60% of my family could.”
Now, That’s a Good Neighbour
“I and the girl I was seeing were really drunk, got back to her mom’s house from a booze cruise real late and wanted to have sex. Since her mom wasn’t the biggest fan of me (we met when she barged into her daughter’s room at 3 AM to complain about loud sex noises) we decided to do it outside on her front lawn. We did our thing and then immediately passed out, buck naked on her front lawn. We ended up being woken up by her neighbor mowing his lawn a few hours later.”
Good Thing She Didn’t Drown
“The first time I attempted deepthroating, boyfriend wanted me to shove his cock down my throat as he came. So like any good girlfriend, I did just that when he gave the signal. I still have no fucking clue what happened, but it turns out semen really burns when it’s gushing out your nose.”
“While on a flight, my girlfriend starts giving me head beneath my jacket. The flight attendant sees me up and not sleeping, assumes it means a fear of flying, and comes over to talk me down and give me a blanket to help me sleep. She stands there talking to me for a few seconds before she realises what is going on. ”