When Do You Have the DTR Talk?


If I were honest with you, as I usually am, I don’t remember EVER having the DTR talk. No, seriously, I don’t. Not even with my husband before he was my husband. With that in mind, Google and I have an understanding, I type or speak what I need and it searches for matches online. If it doesn’t do what I want, then I just turn to Bing for my answers.

Now, it goes without saying what the DTR is, but how does one go about initiating it? According to my research and my snooping skills, I’ve found that a lot of people do not like to have this talk because then decisions have to be made and to a lot of people, defining things is an act of losing their individuality, not to mention there are enough labels in the world. Apparently, this DTR thing freaks out a lot of people.  For instance, these two people have been dating for a couple of months, and one of them brings up the DTR talk. Oh boy! What to do? Well, some will run with their tails between their legs, some will back away because they aren’t ready to cross that bridge yet, and others will keep brushing it off until it can’t be brushed off any longer. So, do you really need to do this whole DTR talk?

Well, here is my humble opinion, remember these points of interest when deciding whether or not to have the DTR talk.

  • Why put a label on anything?
  • Let it just come naturally
  • There is no specific time when you should have the DTR talk
  • Why even bother? You’ve been together for months, you’re calling each other bf or gf, so just see what happens
  • Why ruin a good thing?
  • Life is too short, just live in the moment and enjoy every aspect, and let what happens happen. If it doesn’t happen, it’s NOT the end of the world, there will be others out there for you

I’m sure some of you don’t agree with me and feel you MUST have this talk with your significant other, and by all means, go ahead. But you need to keep in mind–it can be awkward for that person even downright scary, which can eventually lead to you and he or she no longer being together, which can ultimately lead to heartache.

I’m not sure if this helps you all out there that are considering having the talk, but I sure hope that at least a few of you will heed my warnings. As they say in poker, ‘Let It Ride’! Enjoy!


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