Having sex for the first time can be pretty scary, even though you might be excited. You are probably asking yourself a lot of questions like: is he or she going to be embarrassed with me in bed? Am I good enough for him/her? What if I don’t please my partner the way she/he wants?
Of course, there are a lot more questions, some of them even more outrageous than what we presented above. And to make matters worse, these issues are just the tip of the iceberg. The feelings that come over you can be pretty hard to control.
But Why Does This Happen?
More and more teenagers are rushing towards the bed in the last couple of decades, but why? The first thing that comes to mind is the lack of sexual education. Sex is still considered taboo in many countries. Also, in some religious countries, sexual education does not even exist.
Another thing is that teenagers, even adults, have more access to pornographic materials than ever before, thanks to the Internet. Now, we are not saying that porn movies are the root of all evil, but when you have only porn to educate you about sex, the results can be devastating.
And that is why many teenagers expect to “score” when they first meet their partner. Not only that, but they expect their first sexual intercourse to be something similar to a porn movie. Some of them have such a high tolerance to standard porn that they cannot even perform well in bed because it is “vanilla” for them.
The Heavenly Nightmare
The first and probably the only thing you should focus on is your partner. Yes, having sex for the first time is important to you and probably to your partner as well. However, think for a moment that your partner may feel the same way as you do.
It is important to talk about these feelings and questions so both of you can feel relaxed with each other. Do not rush things, take it slow and easy. Apply the same mentality when you are in bed. Don’t jump into action; watch a movie or something on the television.
Put some smooth music in the background and try to create the ideal atmosphere for your first time having sex. Ask what your partner likes and what he or she doesn’t. Communication is essential and will always be, even when you are in bed. Simple sex toys can also work. Sexy lingerie is a good start, for example.
And for the love of God, don’t try anything you saw in porn movies. Do not try to talk dirty or sexy (not unless your partner is into that) or try some moves that you are not physically capable of. You might injure yourself or your partner and end up in an awkward silence. That’s right, sexy time is over, because of you!
Learn to walk before you run!
Be yourself, try to be calm and always communicate your thoughts and feelings. You will be impressed by how much you can achieve by connecting with your partner.