The moment has come: you’re about to have intercourse for the very first time. You’ve found the perfect one to lose your virginity to. Had a shower, shaved properly, applied plenty of aftershave and deodorant and you’ve got a full pack of condoms and a new bottle of lube. Before you go out the door to make friends with the best thing God has created, be sure you don’t forget this list of things you should not expect when that girl / guy gets under the covers with you.
Unrealistic Expectations vs Reality
You Won’t Be Recruited by a Porn Director
The truth is, you will probably be so clumsy that you’ll hate yourself for the rest of your life. You’ve practiced at home but you seem to have skipped a few chapters. Don’t worry – we’ve all been there. First-time sex is undoubtedly the clumsiest thing you’ll ever do. If it helps you in any way – I ran away the first time. I was that bad, but just like a fine wine, I aged beautifully in this respect.
Good luck trying those “moves” you’ve prepared for the occasion. There really is nothing to prepare except condoms for protection. For everything else, just go with the flow and keep an open mind. Noises, smells, farts – it all happens and it’s all natural.
You Won’t Last for an Hour
If an hour has 5 minutes yes, sure, you’ll last for an hour. Now let’s get back into the real world – you won’t last 15 minutes, let alone 1 hour. You’ll be so excited that you won’t hold it for too long.
Again, that’s perfectly normal. If it helps: I once put it inside of my then-girlfriend and came immediately. Her “Really?” haunts me to this day. Practice is the key to success.
The first few or a dozen times may result in you finishing really quickly. But with time you will learn how to slow down when you’re getting close to hold back. Just remember, anytime you do finish early – you still need to make it up to her and make her finish as well. Sex isn’t over as soon as you are done.
It Probably Won’t Be Romantic
It can be, yes, but chances are it won’t. All the candles and mood setting won’t make a difference. You’ll probably think you’re in but you’re really in the mattress and you’ll have to spend 10 minutes just to find the damn thing. So no, it won’t be that romantic. Learn to laugh about it – mistakes happen. You’ll have plenty of chances to make romantic sex afterwards but when you do it the first time, expect some difficulties and anything else but romance. This is just the first step to a long learning experience.
You Won’t Be Relaxed
Listen – there’s nothing wrong with feeling like you’ll do a bad job or doing just that, for that matter. It would be weird if you didn’t feel this way. It’s something new and something you’ve wanted for a long time now. A few shivers are just proof you’re excited about it and worried you’ll screw it up. Your partner may even find that sweet, so it’s okay to let the nerves show. If anything, she/he is probably much more nervous than you.
But that’s okay – because you’re in this together.
Foreplay – and Lube
Nope, you won’t be the best at foreplay because you’ve watched so much of it. In fact, you might end up skipping the foreplay because you think it’s not that important and you’re just in a rush to get in. Make sure you bring PLENTY of lube to make the experience as pleasurable as possible. And no, lube is not just for sex between guys. Girls need lube too even if they are turned on! You’ll know better anyway after your first time having sex.
Foreplay is the key to having the best sex possible – and with time you will learn what your partner likes and know how to take the time to appreciate their body.
Having sex for the first time is awkward, but nobody was born already knowing all the tricks in the book. You’ll both get better with time so don’t expect anything from your first time. The most recommended thing for you to do is to be prepared to laugh at yourself and to keep an open mind. Be respectful and make sure everything is consensual. And don’t forget to wear a condom and bring enough lube.