This one goes out to every single one of you, male or female;
Love is a scary thing, it’s NEVER easy when a relationship comes to an end. Whatever the reason for a split, break ups can turn your life upside down, change everything you knew and everyone you were friends with – they have a funny way of causing unnecessary problems.
Here’s our go to break up guide… so wipe those tears, and have a read:
How To Get Through A Break Up
GRIEVE: A natural reaction to any loss. Loss of a relationship means loss of companionship, loss of shared experiences, loss of support (financial, emotional, social, intellectual), loss of future hopes/plans/dreams
GO THROUGH THAT GRIEF – don’t fight it. Suppressing or ignoring your feelings will only prolong the grieving process
TALK ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS – Talk to other people about what you’re going through, confide in friends. You will feel less alone, and will eventually move towards healing. Writing these feelings down instead of talking to someone if you are more comfortable would also suffice.
REMEMBER YOU WILL MOVE ON – You will love again. Keep your head up.
REMEMBER THERE IS LIFE AFTER LOVE – LOVE is not the be all and end all in life. Some people never settle down… There is plenty of life after, and around LOVE. You still have a future with new hopes and dreams that could be right around the corner…
SPACE: SERIOUSLY. Even if you and your ex have decided to stay friends, break away to complete isolation immediately after the break up. Don’t see each other, don’t text, no Facebook, no Instagram, no Twitter, no LinkedIn, no E-Mails, NOTHING! This does not have to be permanent, but it does have to be until you can look at this ex partner in a completely plutonic light.
ACKNOWLEDGE / ACCEPT / COPE: You’re starting to think about what you did wrong – not just how shit your ex was. It’s okay to feel guilty, accept responsibility for your past mistakes – it’s healthy. But know, you are a GOOD PERSON, you did your best… Acceptance is KEY to getting through this and eventually moving on.
YOU CAN HATE NOW: Scream. You know you want to. Break a plate, rip some photos up. You want to rage… The amount of anger you feel would depend on how the break up went. You may hate your ex, you may eventually realise this was all inevitable, you may even feel angry at yourself. Let Go! There is no paint wasting so much time and energy and making yourself so emotional over something you can change nothing about. Get that anger out and move away from the rage as quick as you can – mixing love and hate is a strange thing.
SURROUND YOURSELF WITH POSITIVITY / LIVE WELL: You will want to be surrounded by people. Of course you will – you just came out of a committed relationship, you always had company by your side or just a phone call away! Surround yourself with compassionate, understanding, supportive friends and family who will help you see your value as a person. They will bring you up whilst you are down. You’ll get out of bed easier in the morning if you can surround yourself with positive like-minded people.
Delve into the pleasures of being single. Live well. Be Happy. Exercise releases endorphins and alleviates depression, the distraction of looking where you’re running is just an added bonus!
REMIND YOURSELF, EVERYDAY: Make a list of reminders and reasons as to why your ex wasn’t the one for you. Be clear, be relentless and be ruthless. Stick post-it’s up around the house, put reminder alarms through your phone. Maybe you hated your ex’s family, maybe your ex was emotionally or physically abusive, maybe it was a million little things – reading over these when you find yourself in a moment of weakness will bring you back to reality. Imagine if your own best friend was about to call their scummy ex, what would you say to them – read those notes and remind yourself daily.
CLEAR OUT THAT JUNK: You’re done! Break ups signify a new start. Clean and organise your personal spaces, leave yourself feeling organised and refreshed. Mess can be depressing. And keeping busy via cleaning is a great way to keep your mind just active enough to stay away from dwelling thoughts. Occupy yourself with tasks to improve YOUR life. Buy some new clothes, get some new house decor, clean your computer hard drive – we promise it will make you feel a lot better. A song, a smell, a place, many things will remind you of your ex. Walk around your house with a box and remove items from each room that make your heart hurt.