Friends with Benefits – beneficial or just too complicated?


I’m going to put my hand up and confess to being a serial monogamist. I am through and through a relationship kind of gal. I don’t know how but I always seem to find myself in a relationship. So how does the serial monogamist end up in a friends with benefits scenario?

There was a period in my life when I was not only single but also getting frisky. That might read incredibly stupid to a lot of people but please remember that my windows of singleness have been very, very small. Teeny, tiny little peepholes that don’t allow much opportunity for all the fun times. I’m a relatively good looking and confident human but surprisingly enough, men don’t seem to just fall over themselves to get to me.

In my brief period of single and sexual, I found myself in a friends with benefits situation. We were introduced by a mutual friend and it was lust at first sight. He was very tall, very toned and very ginger (What? It’s a guilty pleasure!). He text me the next day and asked if I wanted to come over. At this point it was all very clear what was about to go down (not me). Everything went swimmingly average and afterwards, he rolled over to clearly re-iterate that we would not be dating. This was just sex; he was leaving the country in a couple of weeks to move overseas and he was not doing a long-distance relationship. I was more than okay with this scenario and had absolutely no interest in taking it further.

He may have been beautiful but there was not a lot else going for him – the perfect friends with benefits candidate.

We hooked up a handful of times over the following weeks and every time was followed by his slogan: This is just sex; we aren’t dating. We are just friends with benefits. He was adamant that I should not develop feelings and that if I did, he would have to end it. I continued to roll my eyes and remind him that I was not interested in a relationship.

Not long after he left I got a message from my “friend” on Facebook enquiring as to how I was. I didn’t answer because I didn’t really see the point. He apparently got very upset that I could be so callous and cut him out. Turns out, my friends with benefits situation had turned into a relatively pathetic yet admittedly beautiful boy who liked me more than he wanted to.

I am firmly of the belief that friends with benefits is a perfect scenario as long as (and this is key) no one gets the feelings. I tried it once and found it be a successful venture (on my part anyway) but at the end of the day, I still most firmly a girlfriend girl. Don’t get me wrong, I make a fantastic fuck buddy but I am ultimately about the relationships. Who doesn’t love some soft, emotional cuddles?


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