50 Shades of Grey BDSM After Party

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If you haven’t read or seen 50 Shades of Grey at this point then you are beyond saving. I’m assuming you at least have a very basic understanding of the premise which goes something a little like this – egotistical billionaire with many, many issues pursues boring, bland brunette nobody and introduces her to the world of BDSM. I’m actually quite proud of that highly succinct and yet terribly accurate description.

Now I’m going to confess that if I had to describe myself it would go something a little like boring, bland brunette nobody. No, I’m not being self-deprecating. It’s a pretty accurate description and I’m comfortable in this bubble I have created for myself. Don’t get me wrong, I consider myself slightly more hilarious than the average person and I am disproportionately proud of my weirdly long and delicate fingers and hands (and I do a fantastic ‘ET phone home’ impression 6 tequila shots in). All of this aside, the only common denominator I can see between Anastasia Steele and myself is the brown hair and the generally vanilla disposition. That, my friends, is where the comparison stops.

BDSM isn’t really something I have ever dabbled in. The thought of it doesn’t really seem to float my boat and this little sailor doesn’t really need the extra latex and whips to get things going. Unlike a certain friend of a friend of a friend of mine…

Sometimes it seems that all seemingly innocent and relatively vanilla people need to dip their toes into the world of BDSM is a latex dress and a heck of a lot of alcohol. Now this isn’t to say she didn’t know what she was doing. It was more so that she discovered her lady-balls and promptly strapped them on. Apparently that is the perfect recipe for a little public whipping and a complete loss of inhibitions. After recently going to see the movie, she who will remain anonymous decided to attend what could be classified as a 50 Shades of Grey after party. Showing up in her latex dress and a cardigan, and realising she was wildly over-dressed, she walked into a world of revealing underwear, whips, latex, bondage and masks – the world of BDSM that until quite recently was not in the mainstream light. A couple more alcoholic beverages later (to ensure the lady-balls were firmly attached), she found herself on a bed on a stage in her underwear engaging in some less-than-vanilla behaviour.

So what might you ask is the point of this fantastic story? I think it’s fair to say that whilst a lot of people may not agree with or even like 50 Shades of Grey, you have to acknowledge that it has given us at least two positive things. Firstly, it has opened the door for some seriously great conversation about relationships and sex, particularly with regards to BDSM and what it means to actually explore our sexuality. And secondly, it has given certain anonymous souls the opportunity to unleash their inner sex kittens. Or tigers. I don’t think kittens enjoy being cuffed and whipped. Or do they?

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